I was asked to review someone's marketing before it was going to be published. I looked at it for a while and brought it back to the person with some suggested changes. What I saw in their marketing is something I see frequently in a lot of marketing… including marketing that has already made its way into print or online:

Talking about the business.

I see it a lot: “We do this” or “I do that” or “We can provide these services.” While those may be true and valuable information, they do not sell products.

A better idea is to change it to the customer's perspective and talk about the benefits they receive. One way to start reviewing your marketing for this is to look for anything that says “We do…” or “We will…” or “We can…” and change it to “You receive…”